Wrestling with God

Peniel 1

Sometimes demons,

sometimes God;

we wrestle in uncertainty.

Is it the God within with whom I wrestle:

or is it the God within who wrestles through me,

applying the headlock with my arms

to overpower that which would claim my life?

I strive and grapple,

confronted by desires and fears

that lay hold of me and threaten cold paralysis;

whilst the needs of gospel sting me

to engage and respond with the heat

of fruitful living. In this life and death struggle

is found the unexpected;

glimmers of surprising joy,

and grace that brings the disparate things

together.

So I daily enter the ring to wrestle

with one called Love,

wanting to be overcome

but fearing, too, the cost of that defeat.

Victory is also costly.